Mallory Rae

10 Dec

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Somewhere in a bed in Santa Barbara, there is a girl.  This girls name is Mallory Rae.  Mallory is fighting for her life.  She is fighting for it at this very moment as I type.

I have never met Mallory but we share several mutual friends.  I woke up on December 6th and noticed that my Facebook news feed was overwhelmingly dominated by posts about a tragic senseless accident.

Mallory was struck by a car while she was crossing the street.  The driver was drunk.  The driver fled the scene like a coward.  He was caught shortly after and was booked with a BAC of 0.17.  The level of disgust I feel for the driver is beyond words.  His detailed DUI history is chronicled in this article.  Please read it for yourself and form your own opinion.  I do not want to waste a moment more of my time on someone so unworthy of it.

I went to college in Santa Barbara.  Many people don’t realize what a small town it is.  The sense of community is one of the reasons why I love the red tiled roof beach haven so much.  There is a magic to SBeezie and I feel blessed that I called it home for  several years.  I enjoyed many fun outings at Tonic while I was in college where Mallory is a bartender.

While I have never met her personally, I felt inclined to write.  I am a spiritual person.  I have been praying for Mallory’s recovery all week.  I have been following her constant stream of updates on CaringBridge.  She is clearly someone that is incredibly loved by many.  Getting a small glimpse into the wonderful spirit of Mallory has been something to marvel.  Her picture is so vibrantly full of energy.  She clearly is a gal that has a very special zest for life.

Earlier today my heart sunk into my stomach when an update came through via the Mallory Rae Support Page on Facebook that things had taken a turn for the worse.  I sat at my desk quietly praying for a miracle for Mallory.  As they say, the lord works in mysterious ways.  We need a miracle right now.  I believe that one can happen.  I am not alone in this belief.  I am in awe of the love that surrounds this pint sized gal.

Life is about choices.  The domino effect that led to this heart breaking chain of events could have all been avoided if one driver had made the right decision that night and taken a cab home instead of getting behind the wheel.  Mallory’s Dad sent the following message via Facebook today:

“The best way to show your love and support for Mal is to NEVER DRINK AND DRIVE and to never allow anyone else to do it either.”

If you are reading this I’d like to ask you to do something…Share Mallory’s story.

It’s too important not to.  The series of events that led to Mallory fighting for her life all could have been avoided if one person didn’t get behind the wheel of their car after drinking alcohol.

The driver was leaving a holiday party.  He clearly had one too many.  His terrible choice has led to an unforgivable act that has left Mallory’s family, friends, and the Santa Barbara community shattered as they watch her struggle to survive.

People often think that getting a DUI is the worst outcome of drinking and driving.  I disagree whole heartedly.  The worst thing that can happen to you if you decided to drink and drive is hurting someone else.  I just don’t know how a person can live with themselves knowing their actions caused so much pain.  How would you look in the mirror for the rest of your life and not feel complete and total disgust.  If you hurt yourself there is solace in the fact that you did it to YOURSELF.  Mallory was completely innocent in all of this.  She was simply crossing the street.  It’s not fair.

Mallory’s battle is being waged at this very moment.  She has been on a roller coaster of highs and lows over the last five days.  If you are religious, please say a prayer for her.  If you are not religious, please send a positive vibe or a good thought her way.  She needs as much love and support rallied around her that is humanly possible right now.

As you head out to enjoy yourself at holiday parties this December, think of Mallory.  Do not get behind the wheel.  I implore you to stop anyone else from drinking and driving as well.  Life is too precious and fragile to risk putting anyone else in the same horrific position.

Keep fighting, Mallory!  My heavy heart is routing for you.

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The sites below are the best way to stay up to date on Mallory’s progress:

Mallory Rae Caring Bridge: http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/malloryraedies/mystory

Mallory Rae Support Page: http://www.facebook.com/MalloryRaeSupport

Follow to the link below to help Mallory and her family with her rapidly growing medical bills:

Support for Mallory Rae Fundly: https://fundly.com/support-for-mallory-rae#comments

Peter Lance: https://vogelshappinessproject.wordpress.com/2014/04/13/peter-lance-4mal/

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28 Responses to “Mallory Rae”

  1. Peggie jones December 10, 2013 at 9:48 pm #

    Ok, it’s easy to blame the guy. But here are some facts and ideas. 1. Alcohol impairs your your judgement. So, from drink #1, you are not at your best…and it gets worse, fast.2. You know how they say one drink per hour? That’s only for the first drink. Alcohol slows your metabolism. So even if you can handle the first drink in an hour, the second takes 1.5 hours, the third is 3hours, and then, well, you’re screwed. 3. Alcohol impairs your judgement, so even if you knew you were going to drink, and you planned to call a cab, you may very well end up behind the wheel. No one’s gonna tell you what to do! 4. You can voluntarily have an interlock device installed in your car. You have to blow into it. If you are over the legal limit, it won’t start. It costs $150 to install and $75 per month. 4. A DUI conviction will cost you at least $5000.5. Figure it out.

    • vogelshappinessproject December 10, 2013 at 10:17 pm #

      Hi Peggie,

      Thank you for your comment. I see your perspective. There are several approaches I could have taken when writing. I hope you understand my frustration and heart ache. My blame directed towards the driver stems from the fact that he is an adult and he knows better. He has certainly been through DUI classes educating him on the dangers of driving under the influence and the science of blood alcohol content (he had two previous issues driving under the influence in 2006). Yes, I’m sure his judgement was impaired with a BAC twice the legal limit. If this blog keeps one person from driving drunk or gives someone the courage to stop someone else from making that mistake, that is all I want. I believe the person that hit Mallory would give anything for a $5,000 DUI conviction right now. Mallory’s life is priceless.

      I am sensitive to the fact that Mallory’s family and friends may be reading this blog and I hope you will be sensitive to that as well. Thank you for your feed back. I hope you have a nice evening.

      Warm regards,
      Erin

      • sbgirl December 10, 2013 at 11:10 pm #

        Actually I agree with your take on this situation. It is this guys fault. His irresponsible actions have caused another persons suffering as well as her family. This is not his first DUI, this is not his first hit and run…. Also I think you made a great point when you said “People often think that getting a DUI is the worst outcome of drinking and driving. I disagree whole heartedly. The worst thing that can happen to you if you decided to drink and drive is hurting someone else.” That is so true, and you don’t hear this thought patter often enough in cases like this. Well said and well written!

      • vogelshappinessproject December 10, 2013 at 11:17 pm #

        Hi sbgirl, thank you for your note:) I really appreciate it.

    • ness December 11, 2013 at 1:11 pm #

      How could you honestly even try to make excuses for this guy not to mention this is not the first time he has actually had this happen before its passed just a mistake and now she is in a hospital fighting for her life because of this idiot. He also was very under the influence and all the reasons you just listed were completely pointless because none of that is a reason or idea that makes this or what he has done multiple times okay.
      Poor girl nobody deserves to go through my prayers go out to her and her loved ones!

      • vogelshappinessproject December 11, 2013 at 1:22 pm #

        Hi Ness, I understand that some of the comments on here are very frustrating. Some people miss the point completely on what the message is. I am digging deep to take the high road though because that is the precedence that has been set by Mallory’s nearest and dearest. Thank you for you ongoing support for Mallory:)

        I’d like to remind people to please please PLEASE be incredibly sensitive to the fact that Mallory’s friends and family are probably reading your comments. Please keep the living hell that they are going through in the forefront of your mind. I, along with many, have zero sympathy for the driver that hit Mallory. As Ness just stated, no one deserves to go through this.

    • Lisa December 11, 2013 at 1:32 pm #

      plain and simply this jerk off shouldn’t have been behind the wheel, whether he made the decision or not, he decided to hit her and fled the scene! COWARD is what he is. He should have thought about his way home long before he went to his Christmas party. he should have already had a plan. first strike, ya you can get some sympathy but second, you should have learned your lesson the first time, THIRD!!! why am I writing this? after your third DUI, You need to make better judgement, and maybe you have an alcohol problem at this point. SEEK PROFESSIONAL HELP. your not the one laying on a hospital bed fighting for your life. I hope he doesn’t get his licence back EVER and I hope he has a lot of time behind bars to realize the importance of finding a sober way home! hopefully this will knock some sense into him. I pray for the family of their daughter,sister,neice,grandaughter who is suffering at this very moment.

      • vogelshappinessproject December 11, 2013 at 1:36 pm #

        Lisa, I share your sentiment. You just hit the nail on the head.

  2. Jenny May December 11, 2013 at 12:15 am #

    Never met miss Mallory and feel like I missed something so beautiful as she is and will always be. I have prayed each day for her and can’t wait to finally shake this magical girls hand . U are a miracle to begin with and the love u have created in our small town is something to be cherished forever . Can’t wait to meet u 🙂 be strong and fight this please! Xoxo

  3. Jill December 11, 2013 at 4:20 am #

    Beautifully written. I like many have never had the pleasure of meeting Mallory but share many mutual friends. I have been following her fight since day 1 and will be praying/cheering for her recovery until the finish. I saw something very disturbing on the news this evening about this incident. They said the man responsible for this could face up to 8 years in jail if Mallory makes it but could face murder charges if she doesn’t. Huh?! So, his sentencing revolves around whether she makes it or not? I found that statement outrageous and it made me sick. That guy has turned the lives of so many people upside down and should be handed the maximum sentence regardless of Mallory’s outcome. #teammallory, #prayforher, #noexcusefordrivingdrunk.

    • vogelshappinessproject December 11, 2013 at 9:16 am #

      Hi Jill, Thank you for your prayers. I know the love and support is greatly appreciated.

  4. Bari williams December 11, 2013 at 6:39 am #

    The pressure needs to be on these judges that keep these repeat offenders on the road…well written Ariel….thank you

    • vogelshappinessproject December 11, 2013 at 9:23 am #

      Good morning Bari, Thank you for your support for Mallory and for sharing her story:)

  5. Hector December 11, 2013 at 11:07 am #

    I on the other hand have met Mallory and became well acquainted with her through my outings at Tonic where she bartends. I’ve been going there for years and when she would see me come in she would always give me that beautiful smile she has with a wave and hi. You can tell when you talk to her that she is a positive and happy person. Can’t wait for her to recover so I can see that for more years to come. I will be praying for her!

  6. Jennifer December 11, 2013 at 12:11 pm #

    I am touched by your post. I got a DUI last year (I wasn’t driving at the moment) and it was a horrifying year and a half. All the feelings you describe about this driver having, I have felt and I did not hurt anyone. I can NOT imagine how this person must feel… what one of the respondents said is also true ~ if this person drinks, all the classes in the world will not change his mind about driving! He/she WILL do it! I KNOW this from personal experience. Yes, after that year and a half, I did drink then drive (the reasons why aren’t important here). I was lucky enough to have support through family and the AA community to get better. What people like us have to do is NEVER, EVER drink again! That post is correct. I am certain that person will drink and drive again if he/she picks up another drink! I will never drink again, one day at a time, and this story will be a constant reminder as to why I take that pledge on a daily basis! Thank you for sharing and I will be praying for Mallory Rae, her family, and friends. God does answer prayers and performs miracles!

    • vogelshappinessproject December 11, 2013 at 1:05 pm #

      Thank you, Jennnifer, for your honesty and candidness.

      It is unfortunate that having a DUI is not an uncommon thing these days. I think its safe to say that most people know someone with a DUI on their record. I hope that Mallory’s story will make people think twice before drinking and driving. If embracing sobriety is the only answer to stop DUIs then so be it. I do however know people that have got DUIs and never driven after drinking again. It can be done. I live in San Diego where public transportation, cabs, and UBERs are plentiful though so our city gives one the means to not put yourself in the same position. I applaud you and your family for you commitment to your sobriety and wish you well. Thank you for you prayers. Her family and friends need them now more than ever. They are taking Mallory off Life support today. An update from Mallory’s Uncle just posted on Facebook: http://screencast.com/t/eNIdSl8EIZQq

      • Jennifer December 14, 2013 at 1:52 pm #

        I agree with you that there are people who get DUIs, learn their lesson, and don’t drink & drive again. I was in a drunk driving school with plenty of those kinds of people. It’s just really obvious when someone needs to do what I did (quit) . . . this person being one of them (a repeat offender). I think of Mallory Rae daily and my heart physically aches for your terrific loss and all her family and friends. I am so sorry . . . ❤

      • vogelshappinessproject December 14, 2013 at 2:15 pm #

        I agree with you completely, Jennifer. Thank you for sharing. He clearly needed to embrace sobriety long ago. I wish he had. Thank you for you well wishes. Its appreciated:)

  7. Jennifer December 11, 2013 at 6:10 pm #

    ….So sad for this young women. Prayers and love for her family, and as for anyone saying anything other than drinking and driving is arresponsible, selfish and just stupid, anything other than that is not worth hearing about! Drinking and driving kills! Don’t do it!

  8. trinity fiduccia December 11, 2013 at 8:10 pm #

    THIS IS SAD DAY FOR A LOT FRIENDS AND FAMILY,,,,,….. THAT LOVE HERE SO MUCH…… SHE WILL BE MISS SO MUCH…. TRINITY PLZ…. DONT DRINK ANDDRIVE KILLS LOT OF PEOPLE ……

  9. Emily December 11, 2013 at 10:49 pm #

    My heart breaks for her family. This is so very well said; a DUI is not the worse case, her life is priceless, indeed.

  10. fred December 11, 2013 at 11:02 pm #

    R.I.P.

    • Brenda Butler December 12, 2013 at 8:31 am #

      R.I.P.

    • Douglas Goslow December 12, 2013 at 9:07 am #

      I know someone who is a friend of Mallory and shares her love of life as well many other things. The only comfort I can offer at a time when language with all it’s power fails us. Someone once said to me in my moment of loss,

      “Anyone who was someone in anyones life, who touched that life is never really dead, for they live on in the memories of others”

      I know this is small comfort at a time like this, but now we can realize the gift of friendship and how special and unique we all are.

      So it is not goodbye, but good memories.

  11. Kenny December 16, 2013 at 11:04 am #

    Yet some still cry that even stopping “Only 5 drunk drivers” isn’t a worthy cause for a DUI check point.

    • vogelshappinessproject December 16, 2013 at 11:20 am #

      Hi Kenny, thank you for sending that my way. I happily left a comment for Manuel J. Barba and left a few articles for him to read as well. I also noted that I pledge to never EVER ever see a DUI check point as a waste of tax money. One person taken into custody is worth every penny in my eyes. Life is too precious and fragile to gamble. I also said this: http://screencast.com/t/A0w9XPF9Zf

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