Almost Twenty Six

31 Jul

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This month has been awful. Seriously super awful. The sky fell and I have been left to pick up the pieces. Throughout this month I have been able to cope despite how sad my heart is. Even on the days that I wanted to curl up in a tiny ball I have been able to write one sentence in my journal. One thought. One idea. One memory. There is always something to be grateful for. My dip for July can’t be written here. If I have seemed a little somber it’s because things are incredibly complicated right now and I am struggling with processing the mess that has unfolded. When I hit my limit I can be pretty ruthless so I am exercising extreme restraint as I wade through what feels like a death even though no one’s heart has stopped beating.

I will leave you with a quote that sums up the three-ring $hit show that is my life at the moment…

“You are free to choose but you are not free from the consequence of your choice.”

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These songs have been on repeat.

For when I’m sad: Silly Things by Wild Child

 For when I’m mad: <3(Heart) by Cherub

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This meditation has also been helpful.

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My burst for July is my incredible Mom. I spent the last weekend of July in San Jose having much needed girl time while the boys celebrated the end of my Big Bother’s bachelorhood in New Orleans. My Mom turned 60 years young this month. I genuinely believe that the best is yet to come for her. Sometimes laughter is the best medicine. A fancy bottle or two of wine is good medicine too though.

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